I'm Baaaaack!

Did you miss me? Ahhh, two weeks of surf, sand and spectacular sunrises and sunsets. I went on my "not a honeymoon" and because I knew the Ex was going to try and "reconcile" by showing up, I switched the island reservations to Maui instead of Kauai. Hopefully he had as good a time as I did. Anyway enough about the idiot.

I didn't want to come home. I could stay there and live forever if I could have a job that paid enough to buy all that imported food! That was the biggest shocker to me -- how darn expensive everything was! I'll post a few pictures over the next week or so.

The food was awesome, the people were really friendly and I even tried surfing! And if you've seen the movie Blue Crush, the locals were a lot more friendly than that. Well, I just wanted to pop in and post that things will be back to normal here at casa de infierno.

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Come On Now, Fess Up!

I believe I am the QUEEN of stickies. I love post-it notes. I love the colors they come in, I love the way they stick to any and everything and I especially love that they come in every size known to man. I use them everywhere. I put stickies on walls to remind me to do things, I have them all over my fridge. My office sports them EVERYWHERE. It's a sickness I tell ya!

My second major obsession is with pens. I love pens. Do you see the office supply theme going on here? I love purple colored pens. I love the ones with glitter in them. Fat pens, skinny pens, blue, black, red, green ink pens. I don't care what they are as long as they look and write like a dream. My stickies obsession only began about 10 years ago. They were a valuable studying tool, when I bothered to study in college... But my pen obsession tracks all the way back to grade school. I wonder if this is a genetic thing, because my mother also has an obsession with writing utensils. Of course, she'll use a pencil and I don't ever use one. I can't stand pencils.

The one thing that makes me cry is when I go to use my favorite pen of the moment and I'm out of ink. It's devastating. It's like losing a friend. And it's doubly worse when you TOLD yourself to buy two, but ohhhh no, you decided that one would be just fine.

Ummm, that came out a little crazy. I'm obsessed, not OBSESSED, 'kay?

So tell us all, what's your obsession?

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Mystic Tan and Click & Comment

It's Click & Comment Monday so I'm nagging you to go visit Battlerocker!

I guess it's time to share my Mystic Tan experience before I go for my other appointment this week. I have to say, I completely understand why some people would be addicted to this stuff! I loved the fact that I was tan all over. I'm one of those that falls into the psychological trap that I "feel better" when I have a tan. It gives a confidence boost and since I'm not pale and sickly looking I think it just works positively on my whole state of being. That said, I'm not going to be hooked on the canned tan.

Reaper Girl and I went in and watched the video. The vid is pretty short and at points I think my eyes glazed over. It's a lot to process for the first time. A young, tan, blonde walked me back to my room, went through the instructions in such a way I think she must do a little auctioneering on the side. With a bright and peppy, "Do you have any questions?" she was out the door. So I stand in front of the mirror and try to mentally go through the video. I put my hair up in the cap and make sure that my ears are out. I look for the little nose plugs that allow you to breathe and don't see them -- cheap bastards.

I decide that for my first time I'm going to wear the foot booties, because I read this woman's story and wanted to learn from her fiasco. I put what I think is a liberal amount of the block on my hands and knuckles. Thankfully, peppy girl shared with me a better stance from the one in the video before she zoomed out of my life.

I get into the chamber and place my feet correctly on the metal plate and find that you can't just lean forward and hit the start button. Oh, no, cuz that would make sense! I step forward hit the button then try and get back into place. Like a mantra I'm saying "hold your breath, it's only 14 seconds!" So I take a deep gulp and that cold as shit mist starts jetting out and it sounds like a freakin' car wash in there! It startles me and makes my breath whoosh right back out. So now I'm hyperventillating a little and trying not to suck in massive amounts of God Knows What into my lungs.

The spray ends and I turn around and do it all over again. This time, I hold my breath. After it's all over I try the door and it won't open. That's when a little part of my starts to panic. I push a little harder and it bursts open and I can beathe actual air! Woo Hoo! I grab the towel and as instructed start with my feet and work my way up. Everything ends nicely and I go out and wait for RG to finish up -- she's always a little slower than the rest of us. :o) I take out my compact and notice that my face looks a little orange. "That's okay!" says peppy girl, "It's the bronzer. It'll wash right off."

RG comes out and she's laughing at herself -- and well that's her story to tell and we head home. She feels funky, I feel funky and we're already counting down the hours until we can take a shower. Finally shower time arrives and I hop eagerly in. I look down at the water and it reminds me of dying my hair at home. The water is brownish and I have this need to scrub like it's my job, but I don't because I'm still afraid that I will "wash off" my tan! So finally the water runs clear and I think, "Why put that crap on you if you're going to wash it off 6 hours later? What's the point?" But I guess that is one of life's little mysteries. The only issue I had was my feet because the marks off the booties were REALLY noticeable. Next time I'll try barefoot and will just hope that I don't end up with dirty toes!

So there you have it. Mystic Tan in under 5 minutes. I recommend it if you want a little base color, but I can't say I'd do it over and over and over....

Go visit Battlerocker and here's the origin of Click and Comment Monday! MT

On Mondays, Cat has Click & Comment Day. She posted this to remind you how important it is to comment on other blogs. It truly DOES increase your readership and you most often gain regulars that will visit your blog day after day.

What I encourage is for you to click my renter. Then, you comment on the blog and click their renter or someone on their blogroll. Then you comment on that blog and click their renter or someone on their blogroll. Do this for as many blogs as you can. Sometimes they go full circle, and you end up at the originating blog, then just look up a blog in the blogroll and start the cycle again.

I really encourage you to do this at least to 5 comments if you have ANY time at all. It will give you the joy of sharing a few of your opinions on posts and bring you future readers.

Thanks and enjoy Click & Comment Day!

Enjoy! I’m going to try to do this each Monday. Why not start your week off right?

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Battlerocker and 5 Effin' Things

Blogger is just way beyond a piece of shit. I'm sure this short little post will take me at least 30 minutes to get it on correctly.

Please welcome Battlerocker from the Battle Rock Spot! Battlerocker is a self-professed 2nd rate law student (I don't believe that!) who loves anything with the Muppets -- which is the reason I picked him. Um, really I picked him because he was one of the first people to hangout and comment here and I wanted to give him a spot in Purgatory for a week. Of course if Blogger doesn't get any better, I'll have to refund him some credits because I won't be able to post a damn thing. So anyway, go see him and tell him the Girls sent ya!

Now on to being tagged. I have a special circle waiting for you Reaper Girl!!! But since I'm busy packing for Hawaii and snarling about Blogger, what the hell.

5 Things in My Refrigerator
Apples
Vitamin E Oil
Italian Dressing
Beer
Cherries

5 Things in My Closet
SHOES
Suits
Jeans
Stuffed Animals
SHOES!

5 Things in My Purse
Lipstick
Perfume
Wallet
Keys
Cell Phone

5 Things in My Car
Trash
CDs
Tampons
Extra Sunglasses
Sweet & Low

5 Tagged People
Whatever, I'm not subjecting anyone to this, but if you want me to "tag" you and include your name and a link to your site, I'll be happy to. Just leave me a comment.

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M.I.A.

I know I've been MIA. Life got in the way for a little bit. I'm trying to tie up any loose ends before going on my solo honeymoon. Bills need to be paid, my boss needs to pay me and well, you can see how much a drudge the last few days have been. Reaper Girl has talked me in to faux tanning with that MysticTan stuff. Anyone like/dislike having that done?

I really didn't want to go to Hawaii white as a sheet of paper and she's getting it done for a wedding she's in, so I thought I'd give it the ol' college try. But I have a few worries. One. Is that shit going to get all over my clothes? And I don't mean two hours afterwards, but if I'm hiking to some lava peak in Hawaii and I sweat like it's my second and third job, is it going to come off on my clothes? Two. How does this stuff technically work? Three. Am I going to become addicted to tanning? Is MysticTan like crack? Am I never going to want to be white again?

Inquiring minds need to know. I called the place where we're trying it and he said they give a buy one get one free for new clients and that I might want to come in a week before my trip and see how I like it. He says, "That way if something goes wrong, it won't be right before you go on vacation." Somehow, that does not inspire great confidence. Has anyone ever had an allergic reaction to this stuff? Am I going to come out of there looking like a native islander or what?

Did you see who was Chained to the Wall this week? Why, it's Buffy! Best Superhero Girl EVER! And the new song for the week is Depeche Mode's A Pain That I'm Used To. LOVE THEM!

And what the fuck is wrong with Blogger?!?!?!? This thing has been down more that it's been up the past 5 days. Anyway, that's all I got right now. But why don't you go visit Laci and find out who's ass she's going to kick.

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Those Parties

You know what I love? I love getting my mail. It's this little thrill of not ever knowing what's going to be in the mailbox. I don't love bills, but I'm resigned and I know they are an inevitable fact of life, so even getting bills is sorta like an adventure.

And then you see it. The cream envelope that's too nice for a "I was just thinking about you card" and not nice or thick enough to be a "Blah Blah Blah and Yada Yada Yada request the pleasure of your company at their nuptials." You open it and BAM. You're invited to a party for someone you have not seen or spoken to in a couple of years.

I'm not the most extroverted person on earth and I enjoy a good party. But I enjoy a good party where I know more than one person. Meeting people is something that I have to be in the mindset for. I spend most of the day preparing, you know like Rocky before a big fight. I can't just go in cold. And right now I don't have a good wing-woman to drag along.

Come on, be honest, how many of you have done what I did thought and thought about going until the day arrives and then just don't feel like putting out the energy? I feel like a schmuck, but that doesn't outweigh my desire not to go.

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Please Welcome Laci!

I really would have liked to get this post up earlier, but Blogger was having some serious issues. Don't you just hate the hassles that come with free?

Anyway, Laci from Long, Slow, Beautiful Dance is joining us as our roomie this week and if you haven't checked out her site you are missing out!!! Let me start with the superficial and say she has one of the most kickass designs I've seen in blogdom. I would like to STEAL that graphic (just kidding Laci! -- well sorta). Now getting down to the nitty gritty, I love her writing. Her blog is never, ever boring. She talks about fun and flirty things and the sad and serious. I never know what to expect when I click on her blog, but I know I'm going to like it. So, now you go get the Laci experience and tell me I'm wrong.

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